furry damn snake

The small complex where I live involves a duplex (my side of the joint) and a triplex. (You can see the front of these above.) The middle unit in the triplex is our cursed apartment - everyone who moves in is a loser or an asshole. Twice now, guys have basically abandoned pets in there. The first time it was two cats - they finally got out; we rescued one but the other roamed free. Annoying, pitiful, and angering, yes. But not frightening.

The dude who "lives" there now (but generally stays with his girlfriend), on the other hand, keeps two ferrets. Well, I guess some time Saturday, one of them made a break for freedom. My friend and neighbor next to me saw the critter peering out of the bushes at him. The beast didn't stay shy long - by Sunday, it was chasing people. Ferrets are bitey little buggers anyway, and this one was pissed off, hungry, and fearless around people.

Monday night I needed to walk over to the triplex to talk to my bro there. In my flip flops, I strolled the few feet, flipping through numbers in my cell phone as I went. When, all of a sudden, that god damned ferret came rushing out of the bushes and bit the crap out of the back of my heel! So I yelped and hollered and jumped back to my place with it fast behind me. I shut the door yelling, "That fucker bit me!" and went to wash and disinfect the wound. Meanwhile, a friend that was hanging out with me decided to open the door and see if she could spot the animal.

Bad idea!

She cracked the door and it scurried inside. It tried to chomp her and she screamed for me, so I grabbed the broom and went to do battle, barefoot. The beast went for my cat, went for me, and went for my friend while we herded it back out onto the porch and slammed the door. I called my landlord and left a message telling her we had an attack ferret in the neighborhood and asked her to call the middle neighbor and tell him to come deal with his pet.

Tuesday evening, while I was still at work, middle neighbor showed up at my bro's front door. He apologized and lied about checking on the two ferrets Monday afternoon, saying it must have escaped right after that. My buddy told him, a) take it up with me, since I'm the one that got chomped and b) don't bald faced lie to people. Middle neighbor left the area, beast still free and aggro.

Finally, yesterday afternoon, a guy working at the print shop next door caught it in a trash can. He left middle neighbor a note on the door, but if he doesn't hear from him by today, the animal is going to a friend of his who already has two of his own and doesn't mind another. As I told my bro, I don't care if it goes to Ferret Hell.

Just business as usual in my neighborhood.


Ms. Moon said...

Has that ferret had its shots? I think you should see the doctor.
Love...Your mother

downtown guy said...

I was worried that I would wake up with my foot twice its regular size, but I've had no redness and it's healing quickly. I think I'm out of danger, but if I'd been worried the next morning I promise I would have gone to see the doc about it.

Ms. Moon said...

Rabies isn't the "silent killer" is it?

downtown guy said...

Nope, I think it's more the foaming, gibbering killer. But my injury is healing right up. I may still be a little jumpy around slinky hairy things, though.