4/13/09

the tropics in spring

I've got murder on my mind. Premeditated - I went to Publix in a thunderstorm to buy a 4 pound box of Mule Team Borax and a one pound sack of icing sugar. Came home and mixed them together in a big jar that used to have pretzels in it. Sprinkled that shit all over my kitchen, down every crack, in the sink drains, around the back of the stove and fridge and water heater, along the door jamb.

You can call them palmetto bugs, I call them the enemy. This apartment is trying to return to the soil, but I'll fight the roaches any time they rise against me.

22 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Oh no. Oh no.
Let me talk to Kathleen about this. She is a professional.
I hate to say this, but you might have to move one day.

That Hank said...

I suspect that the geckos will begin to help out now that they're barking again.

Ms. Moon said...

I certainly hope so.

E. Peterman said...

Oh, God. Palmetto bugs are the most disgusting things in creation, and they are unavoidable when you live in an old building in Florida. I hate them and their aggressive nastiness so much.

That Hank said...

They are playing in my kitchen sink at night and I will not have it!

Lois said...

I have this problem in my garage. Fortunately I also have geckos in my garage. When they start migrating from the garage into my house, then I start getting murderous too! I love my $1.49 fly swatter--it stuns them long enough to dump them down the garbage disposal!

That Hank said...

I have an illogical fear that, if I did something like grind them up in a garbage disposal, the pieces would regenerate like so many bucket-carrying brooms. Luckily, I don't have a disposal, so the ones I kill get flushed down the toilet.

Anonymous said...

1. Diatomaceous Earth = a powder made of a layer of the earth that is composed of crushed up Diatom fossils. It is a desiccant and cuts through the exoskeleton of any bug(with an exoskeleton), drying it out and destroying it-even the clean up is easy cause they fall apart completely dry.
I have sprinkled DE in my house for years in Florida, even in rentals, and cleaned up my roach problem amazingly well. It's not poisonous to animals and people (but don't eat it- it's just not poison). It's white powder and so not messy and it doesn't attract new critters like sugar will.

Borax is similar, but I've found DE works every time.
Also- the more rain, the more the roaches want to live indoors.

Anonymous said...

oh, you can get it at any home store, it's cheap. And just put it along the edges behind cupboards and appliances, etc.

That Hank said...

I'm going with borax right now, since that's what I've got and it generally does the job, but if it fails Diatomaceous Earth is next on the list.

Anonymous said...

it's cool, they walk through it and it cuts them to shreds. then they just fall apart somewhere...

and regenerate into mutants of course!

That Hank said...

I think borax does pretty much the same thing, but maybe not as quickly?

Don't even joke about mutants, I'm pretty sure I saw one last night with a neck.

Petit fleur said...

Hey DTG,

You have my symathies when it comes to the evil ones. Yeeeesh! I'm getting the willies as I write thinking bout some of the ones that have stared me down and charged/flew at me. Bastards!

Anyway, we use this stuff called Diatimashous Earth. (probably spelled it wrong) But you get it at garden centers. It's fairly cheap and it kills anything with an exoskeleton and is supposed to be safe. (So if you have animals, the fleas go too! woopie~)

It's made from crushed up sea critter shells. It gets in the cracks of their bodies and either dries them out or paralyzes them or something. Anyway, we use it out here in Lloyd and we have rotten wood o plenty (much of it on our floor boards!) and we hardly see any. I think that says a lot.

Good luck! And thanks for writing... even if it was about the evil beasties!

Petit fleur said...

Ok, I guess I should have read the other comments before commenting. Let me amend my comment:

I strongly second Magnum's proposal. He even got the spelling right. It's a marvel!
xo
pf

That Hank said...

If my borax and sugar doesn't do the job, that's where I'll head next.

Steph(anie) said...

Regenerated mutant zombie palmetto bugs? SHUDDER

Anonymous said...

Neville and the Mutants; DTG and the Roaches.
With opening band, The Hestons...

Hope it ends well

honeyluna said...

I'm sorry to hear about your mutant roaches. Those sound scary. And definitely watch out for the ones with necks. Thank god you don't have necklaces laying around-I hear they like to steal them.

That Hank said...

I could put a dog collar on one.

Petit fleur said...

Damn... Anything that big ought to be paying it's share of the rent.

All This Trouble... said...

I feel your pain.

Or at least your paranoia.

Erin said...

This made me flash back to a nightmare...http://gingermagnolia.wordpress.com/2009/01/07/is-there-lsd-in-my-drinking-water/